Wednesday, October 29, 2008

2008 Singapore Motorshow

what's good about this motorshows???...
common!!! chix and cars!!! woot!!!!














Reincarnation ng Isang Lasenggo

As always! Madaling araw na naman nakauwi si RIKARDO galing sa inuman at 
lasing na lasing. Pag dating niya ay tulog na ang kanyang MISIS kaya 
tumabi na lang siya sa kama at natulog na rin. Kinaumagahan, sa muling 
pagmulat ng mga mata ni RIKARDO ay nakita niya na ang katabi ay isang 
lalaki, bigla syang nagulat at bumangon! 

RIKARDO : Sino ka! At ano ang ginagawa mo dito sa kuwarto namin? 

SAN PEDRO : Huminahon ka RIKARDO. Hindi ito ang kuwarto niyo at ako ay si SAN PEDRO. 

RIKARDO : Ha? Kung ganon patay na ako! 

SAN PEDRO : Ganon na nga iho. 

RIKARDO : HINDI! HINDI ITO PWEDE! Ang dami ko pang hindi nagagawa ang dami ko pang naiwan sa mundo! 

Maawa ka SAN PEDRO pabalikin mo sa lupa kahit man lang para makapagpaalam sa mga mahal ko sa buhay! 

SAN PEDRO : Teka huminahon ka. Hindi ka na pwedeng bumalik bilang ikaw pero pwede kita i- reincarnate bilang isang inahing manok o bayawak! 

RIKARDO : Mmmmm kung bayawak baka mapatay uli agad ako. Inahing manok lang po SAN PEDRO, pero ilagay nyo po ako dun sa bukid namin para malapit ako sa pamilya ko! 

SAN PEDRO : OK pagbibigyan ko ang kagustuhan mo. 

At muling nabuhay si RIKARDO bilang isang inahing manok. Nakita niya ang 
sarili na puno ng balahibo at kasama niya ang ibang mga inahing manok sa 
bukid nila. Kinausap siya ng isa pang inahing manok na si SUSY. 

RIKARDO : Whew, isa na akong manok ganito pala ang feeling. Teka bakit parang umiinit ang tiyan ko at kumukulo? 

SUSY : Ikaw ba yung bagong manok dito? Ganyan talaga ang pakiramdam kapag malapit ka nang mangitlog. Magrelax ka lang at hayaan mo siyang dumaloy. 

RIKARDO : Ano? Mangingitlog ako! Oo nga pala inahin nga pala ako kaya normal lang siguro yun. 

Kahit medyo kinakabahan si RIKARDO ay sinunod nya si SUSY at nailabas nya ang unang itlog. Matapos mailabas ang itlog ay guminhawa ang pakiramdam 
ni RIKARDO. 

RIKARDO : Wow ganito pala ang pakiramdam ng mangitlog, napakasarap! Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ito, para akong isang ina na nagsilang ng sanggol napakasarap, ngayon ko lang naramdaman ito. Pero teka bakit parang meron pa? 

SUSY : Huwag kang mag-alala di tulad ng tao, tayong mga manok kaya natin mangitlog ng isa hanggang walo, kaya magrelax ka lang at hayaan mo silang lumabas. 

RIKARDO : Ganon ba? O sige. Maraming salamat SUSY! Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko pero totoong akaka- antig ng damdamin. 

At muli na naman nangitlog si RIKARDO. Gumaan muli ang pakiramdam niya. 
Napangiti at nasabi niya sa sarili niya na ito ang pinakamasarap na 
naramdaman niya sa buong buhay niya kahit na noong namumuhay pa siya 
bilang isang tao. Halos mapaluha siya sa galak. Naghahanda na sanang 
ilabas ni RIKARDO ang pangatlo niyang itlog nang biglang may matigas na 
bagay na pumalo sa ulo nya at may narinig siyang malakas na sigaw?. 
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MISIS : HOOOY!!! GUMISING KANG DEMONYO KA! BAKIT 
KA TUMATAE SA KAMA !!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

¿uʍop ǝpısdn ǝdʎʇ oʇ ʍoɥ

¡¡¡¡sʞɹoʍ ʇı ¿¿¿¿ǝǝǝǝǝs
˙˙˙˙ǝdʎʇ uǝɥʇ ˙˙˙ɹoʇıuoɯ ǝɥʇ uo ƃuıpuɐן ɯoɹɟ ssɐ ɹn ʇuǝʌǝɹd ʇɹoddns oʇ puǝıɹɟ ɹn ǝʌɐɥ noʎ ǝɹns ǝʞɐɯ ˙˙ɹıɐɥɔ ɹnoʎ uo pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ uoıʇısod ˙˙˙ןןɐ ɟo ʇsɹıɟ

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Nude

Got a lot of hits on my SEX post..
now lets go to NUDE
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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Asian

I'm an asian.. and I approve of this post :P


Top Ten Ways to be the Perfect Asian Kid
10. Aspire to be a doctor or a lawyer.
9. Pick out an Ivy league school, and talk about how you're totally going to go to it, all the time.
8. Eat noisily and open your mouth way wider than necessary when inserting small pieces of food, preferably rice.
7. Never get laid. Never. But, talk about getting laid like you get laid all the time.
6. fall for pranks only a complete retard would fall for (i.e. reading " I am sofa king we todd edd" out loud).
5. Shop at American Eagle.
4. Learn to speak Latin, and pretend like you don't like it.
3. Say your parents beat you when you don't get A's.
2. Get beaten by your parents when you don't get A's.
1. Be a total douche, try and make people mad at you as often as possible.


Top Ten Ways to be the Perfect Asian Parent
10. Ask all your kid's friends over the age of 21 if they have a boy/girlfriend yet.
9. Ask your child, "What are you going to do with your life?" if he/she majors in a non-science field.
8. Continually remind your child of how fat he or she is if said child is not 30 pounds underweight, or otherwise does not look anorexic.
7. Incorporate no phrases besides, "Did you study yet?" into your daily conversations with your children.
6. Give your son a bowl haircut or your daughter two acres of bangs.
5. Reveal all the intimate details of your kid's life to the entire Asian community.
4. Blatantly hint about the merits of Hahbaado (Harvard), Yeilu (Yale), or Purinsuton (Princeton).
3. Never be even a little lenient on the 4:00 P.M. curfew.
2. Ai-yah loudly at your kid's dress habits.
1. Always ask where the other point went when your child comes home with a 99/100 on his/her test.

Friday, October 17, 2008

F1 Night Race


wooooaaahhhh.... the first ever F1 night race..
damn another pride of this city :P

anyways the whole F1 thing is uberly cool!!!
common it's my first time to see them live...
unfortunately i can't afford the $1k+ ticket their selling :(
so all i did was to find some elevated platform..
tilt.. hoping i could just see the cars even for a fracture of a second..
just..
hearing the sonic boom...
seeing the tip of the drivers helmet..
smelling the burning rubbers..
are all i need to call this a day :)


Here's my pride clip of the F1 Race...
hear that sonic boom peeps :)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

GF's Txt Decoder....


wonder what she really meant on those "....." or "<_>" on her sms...

worry no more....
CellPhones.org had finally got the answer to the meaning of life itself.. hehehe...

But i tried to compile some pre-decoded txt messages for my avid readers...
kudos to gizmodo commenters:

? = I'm seeing someone else.
Later = I'm seeing someone else.
Later! = I'm seeing someone else, and it's your best friend.
Seriously? = Seriously, didn't you know I'm seeing someone else?
Ummm... = I'm right in the middle of seeing someone else.
Walk? = I need to talk to you about the fact that I'm seeing someone else.
WTF?!?! = Why are you so damned possessive and jealous and always assuming I'm seeing someone else. Grow up and grow a pair.

Hi = I'm angry at you
Nothing = No really I'm angry at you
You should know = I've communicated this already using super secret female subtle semaphore and you missed it.
I'm going out for drinks with the girls = I'm being banged like a screen door in a hurricane by someone who isn't you.
u qant tp sez ypi = I want to see you
What time are you coming home = what time should I tell him to leave?
Where U at? = Do I have time for one more roll in the hay?
I really miss you = Oops, sent this message to you by accident.
 

how much did u drink? = i hate you fuckin drunk SOB
when u be home? = you better be home fuckin SOON
who u with? = it better not be that bitch i hate
where r u? = im watching you from my car to see if you lie.
hello? = why haven't you called me yet? I don't want to appear needy by calling you, yet I want to talk.
hello??? = whoever you are with had better be ugly because I am going to demand compliments and jewelry when I see you next.
Goodbye. = I'm sleeping with your brother.

Are you ok? = You haven't contacted me at all since you went out to meet up with your friends. I demand an update!
On my way home = I'm so considerate see? I don't want you to worry even though I may be drunk.
I love you! = I haven't heard from you in a while, WTF?
When will you be home? = WTF why don't you tell me what you are doing, you should've been home by now how dare you change the routine without telling me!
I called but you didn't answer so I already ate dinner = I fucking HATE when you don't answer your phone. 

How the fck did u get my number?! = You're that cute guy on the bus, right?
Keep stalking me loser and Im calling the cops. = You're that cute guy on the bus, right?
Uh... r u in my house?! = You're that cute guy on the bus, right?
WTF?! Uh;lkjwer.k .,......... .. = You're that cute on the bus, right?

I had a few drinks = I'm trying to get someone drunk.
I'll be home later = I'm busy with someone else. I'll text you when I'm done.
I'm out with a friend = I'm having dinner with someone I don't want you to meet.
I'm at a friends house = I'm busy doing something with someone that I don't want you to know about.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How To Fight insomnia

1. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day, even at the weekend. As Ben Franklin said, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man want to hang himself." As Dorothy Parker said, "A man who's early to bed and quick to get up makes a girl happy."

2. Try eating a high carbohydrate, low protein snack approximately 1 hour before going to bed. Many recommend 20 pecan pies, a gallon of mashed potatoes, and a quart of Wild Grandad™ whiskey. Or you can eat a Scotsman. They have a layer of blubbery goodness which makes them a perfect high-carb snack.

3. Avoid exercise at least 3-4 hours before going to bed. Better, avoid exercise altogether. In fact, both your heart muscle and your lungs are exercising most of the time. Stop both and you will go right to sleep.

4. Avoid caffeine or alcohol at least six hours before going to bed. Also avoid LSD, crack cocaine, Ecstasy™, magic mushrooms, gunpowder, kittens, impalement, and Irishwomen for at least six hours before going to bed. (Although some may claim that alcohol helps them to sleep, it actually interferes with the brain's sleep cycle and the major benefits of sleep are lost. You do not sleep well when you are laying in a puddle of rancid beer puke. And the same goes for Irishwomen. In fact, laying in a puddle of rancid Irishwomen is illegal outside Ireland.)

5. Try and get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. If you cannot exercise, try napping. If you can't nap, try exercising. If you can't exercise before a nap try taking a catnap before exercising before your nap.

6. If you can't get to sleep after half an hour, get up and do something such as conquering France, Mexican dancing, trampolining, flying to the moon, or attaining enlightenment.

7. Avoid reading or watching anything alerting or thrilling straight before going to sleep. If you are thrilled by life itself, try dying before you go to sleep. If it's almost time to go to bed, but you are wasting your time on a lame site like Uncyclopedia, for instance, you know you just failed at step 7. Turn off the computer or anything that uses electricity right now, especially street lamps, roadsigns, clublights, and central heating.

8. If you feel extremely tired in the morning, you should take the day off school or work as you will only become stressed and worsen your situation. Just keep sleeping. Sleep. Just crawl under the covers and forget job, forget school, forget your family....you disgusting, irresponsible, lazy slug-a-bed.

9. Make sure you sleep in a comfortable position. Bats sleep hanging from the ceiling. Try that. Or do like a shark -- immerse yourself in 50 fathoms of water and try to stay there all night.

10. Make yourself a 'worry book' in which to write your psychotic fantasies and evil thoughts. This will clear your mind of worries before going to sleep -- either that or you will become obsessed with it and unable to think of anything but rewriting polishing editing rewriting the worry book.. When you cannot go straight to sleep, use the book to pound your own forehead.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

New friend: Donna Albayno

hehehe.. it's been a while since I post in here..

sorry been busy at school..
anyways wanna introduce my new friend..
she's  a Env Eng in an Oil and Gas Company...

*drumroll.............

Donna!!!! ang babaeng albayno :P

with her office uniform :)

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